Did you make New Year resolutions on New Year’s Eve? If so…May I ask you a question?

How are you going with them? Have you made any progress? Or…has it fallen by the wayside.

This happens all too much. It is so easy to say what you will do on New Year’s Eve with a glass of champagne in your hand. Then you may have even started …going to the gym, eating healthier, making time for friends, getting that divorce ….(whatever it may be for you).

If you are still on top of carrying out your resolutions. Well done, you! Keep up the great work and congratulations.

If you aren’t …well…… There are 2 things to consider…

1. You did not really want that ‘thing’ anyway. If so, stop beating yourself up and let it go.
2. You do want it….but just don’t know how to go about achieving it.

Whatever is happening for you, here are 5 hacks to enable you to have a successful 2020.

1. Set some goals

No!…….goals do not have to be set on New Year’s Eve. It is an opportune time, but not essential.

So, figure out what you really want. Sit down and brainstorm what you want for yourself in the next 6 or 12 months. Write it down! Writing it down makes it real. Your hand, fingers and all the muscles involved with writing have been activated along with your brain. This makes it more visceral and means it is more likely to happen. I wrote an article on how to set goals which was published in this newsletter a while ago. If you would like to check it out go HERE. This will help you with the right structure to help keep you on track.

Focus on the things you do want rather than what you don’t want. Instead of saying ‘I don’t want to be broke’ say the opposite instead, using positive language – ‘I am wealthy’. Our unconscious mind does not process negatives and it will hear ‘broke’ and if this is what you focus on, this is what you get. So, each time you find yourself saying or writing about what you don’t want, quickly switch it to make it to what you do want using positive language.

2. Schedule in Fun Time

With so much on our plates, it is easy to become a ‘work robot’! Right?

So…Don’t be a work robot!!

Schedule time daily/weekly/monthly/yearly for TIME OUT!

Remember…what you don’t schedule, most probably won’t happen. So just do it!!

This is a very important part of your self-care and having a balanced life.

What I find is very handy for looking at the monthly and yearly fun and self-care. Get a yearly planner and put in your holidays and breaks. Yep…block them out! This is the way to ensure that they happen. It is important to plan for it.

The yearly fun time is usually an extended holiday, whether domestic or overseas. It requires a bit of planning. Also, you may like to include weekends away to do the things you love, e.g. a weekend spa with girlfriends. This does not have to break the bank either. So, get creative and say within your budget!

Maybe your monthly fun could be a night out with some friends or a weekend bar-be-que. Or it could be a massage, manicure or some other way to treat yourself.

The weekly fun could be simply a date night or movie and popcorn night. I am sure you get the idea and you can put on your thinking cap and get creative. I wrote an article on self-care that you can read HERE. It has lots of ideas that you could use. It was also published in this newsletter some time ago.

3. Catch Up with People in Person

Yes…this one can be combined with the hack above.

Scientific studies ^{1 2 3 4} show that being connected to others is the most important thing for happiness.

Of course, to catch up on Skype or Zoom if you live away from loved ones is better than not catching up at all. However, sometimes, we take the lazy way out and just Facebook message to keep in touch. This is not a bad thing…..but it is so much better to be in the same room/space as others…if possible. It makes for a better connection.

Meet your friends at the beach or in the park for a picnic. Arrange a run or walk with family and friends so you are connecting as well as getting fit. Join a sports team. Eyeball people in person.

Get really connected. Let those endorphins (feel good chemicals your body makes when you feel happy) flow freely through you as you have fun with others in person.

4. Face Your Traumas

Just by living on planet earth, we experience traumas at some points in our lives. Usually it is in childhood when we are the most vulnerable. Seeing parents fight, divorce, domestic violence, bullying at school are just a few. Even if you had the most idyllic childhood, there would still be incidents that would have traumatised you.

Often, we are not even aware of it consciously. For the ones you are aware of…… the advice….. face them. Don’t run away from them.

Of course, if something causes us pain, we tend to back away. That is a natural reaction and is designed to keep you safe. It is just that we need to face them to heal them. Note the paradox!

So, what have you been suppressing? Think about it! Be honest with yourself. Think hard and write a list of all the traumas that you experienced throughout your life. Be with the feelings that come up. Yes…it is uncomfortable…but necessary. You may even find that giving it space, the ‘monster’ is not as big and awful as you imagined.

Also facing and healing these traumas is so good for your physical body too. Traumas become trapped in our bodies and can show up as tight muscles, disease and unhappiness. ⁵

Releasing the negative emotions and decisions you made around these traumas is such a liberating experience. It’s like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. This frees up your energy so that you can do all of those things you love.

5. Get a Coach

I just mentioned that there are many traumas that you carry around unconsciously. Some memories are suppressed with the intention of keeping you safe. However, they do manage to raise their ugly heads in the form of disease, phobias and limiting beliefs. They remain until they are released and healed.

We can’t see our own blind spots. However, others can.

One of my clients could not figure out why she continually had bad dreams. She’d been having these nightmares all her life. With the work we did together she discovered that something specific had happened to her when she was a child. The work we did had brought it to consciousness. It was a shock, but she healed it and released it using some of the Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) techniques. She has not had a nightmare since and is sleeping peacefully. She also reported to me that she is much happier and feels like a heavy weight had been lifted from her.

Having a coach does not only help you with past traumas but can also help you to set goals that really inspire and motivate you allowing you to become the best version of yourself and to live the life you truly want. ⁶

This is particularly great for women going through midlife and beyond. The hormonal programming has worn off or is in the process of wearing off. This means we want different things for ourselves to what we may have wanted in the past and coaching is an effective and efficient way to get what we want now without the guilt and other stories we tell ourselves that keep us small.

If you would like some help with making your life wonderful and making a plan for the  life YOU want, book in for a quick chat with me using my online calendar https://calendly.com/gcmitchell58/quick-chat

References:

1. Leyden, KM. et al. ‘Understanding the Pursuit of Happiness in Ten Major Cities’. Urban Affair Review: April 2011: Accessed 17^th January 2020: http://citiesbeautiful.org/system/files/Understanding%20the%20Pursuit%20of%20Happiness%20in%20Ten%20Major%20Cities.pdf
2. Hsu, HC. Et al. ‘Social Connections and Happiness Among the Elder Population of Taiwan’. 2015: Accessed 17^th January 2020: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13607863.2015.1004160
3. Rohrer, JM. et al. ‘Successfully Striving for Happiness: Socially Engaged Pursuits Increases in life Satisfaction’. Psychological Science, in press. Accessed 17^th January 2020: http://home.uni-leipzig.de/diffdiag/pppd/wp-content/uploads/Manuscript-Pursuit-of-Happiness_final.pdf

4. Mejia, Z. ‘Harvard’s Longest Study of Adult Life Reveals How You Can Be Happier and more Successful’ March 2018. Make It: Accessed 17^th January 2020: https://www.cnbc.com/2018/03/20/this-harvard-study-reveals-how-you-can-be-happier-and-more-successful.html

5. Centre for Substances Abuse Treatment (US). Trauma-Induced care in Behavioural Health Services. Rockville (MD): Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (US); 2014. (Treatment Improvement Protocol (TIP) Series, No. 57.) Chapter 3, Understanding the Impact of Trauma. Accessed 17^th January 2020: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK207191/

6. Greif, S. ‘Advances in Research on Coaching Outcomes’. October 2007. Research Gate. Accessed 17^th January 2020: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/200735401_Advances_in_research_on_coaching_outcomes

The post 5 Hacks for a Successful 2020 appeared first on Australian Menopause Centre.

If you have, do you know what it stands for?

Did you know that it can help with menopause?

Want to know how?

Neuro linguistic programming is, in a nut shell, the study of excellence. As the name implies, it is relating the brain and thoughts, language and human behaviour (programming).

NLP started in the 1970’s in Santa Cruz, California by Richard Bandler and John Grinder. Bandler was a student of mathematics and computer science who switched to psychology and Grinder was an associate professor of linguistics. Using the work of Virginia Satir, and Fritz Perls, who were esteemed and successful therapists, Bandler and Grinder teamed up to define the techniques used by these therapists that made them so successful.

They also studied and modelled other great communicators. Gregory Bateson, Milton Erickson and Noam Chompsky to name just a few. They incorporated the work of Milton Erickson, who is known as the grandfather of hypnotherapy, into their NLP model.

So basically, they wanted to find out what successful people did and develop the ‘recipe’ for success so that it can be replicated by anyone.

Since then, other experts have contributed and expanded the work done by Bandler and Grinder and NLP continues to grow and develop through research and training.

To see more on the history of NLP go to HERE.

A major part of NLP and the study of success is how we communicate with ourselves and others. Did you know that most of our communication is done through body language? A whopping 55%! 38% is via the tone of the voice and only 7% is attributed to words. This Is not to say that words are not important…. they are.

Have you ever walked into a room where people have just had a fight? Nobody says a word, but you can tell by the body language that something has happened. You feel like you can cut the air with a knife!

To demonstrate tonality, imagine if someone was screaming at you. How would you feel? It probably would not matter what they were saying (except FIRE!), only how they were saying it.

I hope this illustrates my point that body language and tonality are huge in communication.

Having said this, words are still important.

So how can all of this help with menopause?

Here I will give you THREE strategies.

Speak to yourself with kindness

Like many women (myself included), we are often our own worst enemies! When we are not feeling so good about ourselves, we speak to ourselves in a way that we would never speak to others. Think about it. How often do you berate yourself? Do you call yourself fat? stupid? old? frumpy?

When this happens, it is important to realise you are doing it and then stop! Then forgive yourself, change the language (body, tone and words) to be kind to yourself.

For example, you may be looking at yourself in the mirror as you get dressed and say to yourself ‘I am getting so fat’.

1. Pull yourself up on saying it.
2. Forgive yourself by saying ‘whoops…. I didn’t mean to say that. I forgive myself’
3. Replace it with ‘my body is a temple. It is beautiful and it functions well, and I am grateful that it is healthy.
4. Even if you don’t believe it, do it anyway. The more you do, the more you will appreciate your self/body/mind etc. You will be changing your programming.

This attitude of gratitude and positivity will serve you so much better than the negative self-talk.

So, think about the negative ways that you speak to yourself and give this exercise a go!

Reframing situations

Sometimes you just don’t feel good or something happens that is not so great! It is called LIFE. There are challenges to deal with. It happens to everybody. During menopause, the challenges can seem so much worse.

The thing is, it is not what happens, but your response. There is a short time period between something happening, and the way you choose to respond. Just remember, there is an upside to everything. Believe it or not!

I will give you an example:

A few years ago, I had my left shoulder reconstructed after an injury. I could have focussed on the pain, lack of movement and inconvenience of not being able to shower properly. For sure, that was all there. I was still a full-time school teacher at the time and I was exhausted from teaching due to lack of sleep due to menopause.

So, I chose to see the surgery as a way of having 6 weeks off school and to rest and recoup. With that, despite the pain etc, it was so lovely to spend time at home resting and being able to do what I wanted. I slept in, binge watched movies, meditated, walked in the park and had lots of friends come to visit.

And I chose to focus on the good things. It really made the pain etc so much more bearable. The mindset shift was incredibly powerful!

So, how can you reframe your challenges?

Change your language

In NLP, there are many language violations that people use and are unaware of.

I will deal with only one here.

‘I can’t’!

I can’t afford to travel/buy a house/take time off/etc!

How often have I heard this?? HEAPS! I am sure you have too.

Wouldn’t it be much more powerful to say…….

HOW can I do what I want/travel/buy a house/take time off?

This is so much more powerful and is solution focussed rather than problem focussed. When you are only focussed on the problem, guess what? You are going to get more of the problem. You won’t be making any space for a solution. Make sense?

Think about this in relation to menopause symptoms. Instead of telling yourself and ruminating on how bad your symptoms are, wouldn’t it be better to ask yourself HOW you can alleviate them and feel great? It shifts to focus to a solution.

There are many other NLP strategies and interventions that I could mention. I have given you 3 simple tools. These are easy if you practise and they will make your life so much more empowered.

If you would like some help with making your life better by improving your mindset, book in for a quick chat with me using my online calendar https://calendly.com/gcmitchell58/quick-chat

References:

Adlam, C. ‘A Short History of NLP’.  LinkedIn, Aug 2015: Accessed 15^th Oct 2019: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/short-history-nlp-neuro-linguistic-programming-chris-adlam/

‘Noam Chompsky’ Wikipedia: The Free Encyclopedia, Oct 2019: Accessed 15^th Oct 2019: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noam_Chomsky

James, M. ‘What is NLP?’. The Empowerment Partnership and  NLP.com, 2015: Accessed 15^th Oct 2019  http://www.nlp.com/what-is-nlp/

Bandler, R. ‘About Richard Bandler’ n.d. https://richardbandler.com/about-2/

‘John Grinder’ Wikipedia: The Free Encyclopedia, Oct 2019: Accessed 15^th Oct 2019:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Grinder

‘Virginia Satir’ Wikipedia: The Free Encyclopedia, Sept 2019: Accessed 15^th Oct 2019: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virginia_Satir

‘Milton H. Erickson’ Wikipedia: The Free Encyclopedia, Sept 2019: Accessed 15^th Oct 2019: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milton_H._Erickson

‘Fritz Perls’ Wikipedia: The Free Encyclopedia, Aug 2019: Accessed 15^th Oct 2019: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fritz_Perls

‘Gregory Bateson’ Wikipedia: The Free Encyclopedia, Oct 2019: Accessed 15^th Oct 2019: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gregory_Bateson

The post How NLP Can Help With Menopause appeared first on Australian Menopause Centre.

In the past, even recently, our western culture would have had us worn out and dried up and not much good for anything, except for babysitting the grandkids.

The attitudes are changing……slowly!

Thankfully it’s happening!

The average age for women to go through menopause is 51 according to ‘Menopause – StatPearls. There is a whole lot of life still to live. Right?

So… what now?

Well, this is the age when we can reinvent ourselves. Our priorities often have changed quite drastically. The kids have grown up and flown from the nest, we may want to change our work situation or start a new business or travel more and do things that cater better for our current lifestyles.

This time of life can be seen as an opportunity for renewal, or even a rebirth!

With menopause, comes the lifting of the ‘hormonal veil’ as Dr Christian Northrup calls in in her wonderful book ‘The Wisdom of Menopause’. After menopause, women are no longer programmed by their hormones. From puberty to menopause we are programmed for sex, reproduction and nurturing. That takes absolute priority. After menopause, we have an opportunity to take stock of where we are now and what we want for the future.

With this, however, many women feel lost, confused and redundant. They have been so used to doing what they have always done that they don’t remember who they are or what they want anymore.

Studies have shown an increased prevalence of depressive symptoms during the menopause process. Depression is a complex issue and could be related to changing hormones, emotional stress and life changes.

I have met many women in this situation who have come to me for help. I am pleased to say that when they have finished a coaching program with me, they feel so much better and have put in place plans for their bright and exciting futures, becoming who THEY want, doing what THEY want and having what THEY want.

So ask yourself…. ‘what do I really want for myself now?ʼ Go beneath the surface and get really honest with yourself. Meditate  on it. Take down notes when you get ideas. Have fun with it! Get really clear on what you want. And, just to emphasise, it is what YOU want. Not your husband, not your children nor your boss!

The next question to ask yourself is ‘how can I have thisʼ. Again, get creative and figure out some options. Brainstorm it. Write down everything that comes into your mind, even the things you may think          are unrealistic. Again…have fun with it.

Just to give you an example of how life can change, my sister lives in Perth and I live in Sydney. She had children whereas I did not. So, it was always me who schlepped over to Perth to visit during holidays. She was so tied up with raising the kids, working and managing the lives of 5 people that it was almost impossible for her to come and see me in Sydney when her kids were young.

She had often wanted to jump on a plane to spend the weekend with me in Sydney, but it never happened because of her responsibilities. Now that her children have grown up and she is now a grandmother of 6, her life had completely changed…for the better.

She could have chosen to view her divorce and   children growing up and leaving as a tragedy. Many women do!

With some coaching (from me), my sister completely flipped the script. We now see each other often and we even travel together (a passion we share). She has also found a wonderful new partner. They love going for trips away on his Harley Davidson. She says her life has never been better.

My sister is living proof that there is a great new life on the other side of midlife and menopause.

You just need to flip the script. I can help you with this by the way!

Whatever it is that you want for yourself, one particular theme that keeps coming up with my clients is that they want to travel more. Often, they have either not travelled much or not done the travel that THEY want.

So… let’s focus on travel as one way of ‘flipping the script’!

If you are anything like me, travel is one of the most freeing and adventurous things to do at any age. Midlife is a particularly great time to do it as this is when you are more likely to have the time and resources and still have your health.

In my opinion, travel is food for the soul. To experience other places, people and cultures takes the emphasis off me and my issues. I feel like I am a part of something so much bigger than just myself when I travel. I see a much bigger picture. I also feel like I am a part of a much bigger story for some reason. In short…it feels great!

Nowadays, there are so many options with overseas travel. You can do it full on with going business or first class or even do it on a shoestring.

If you are on a budget and want to travel, here are some hacks you could use.

There are many websites that sell cheap flights. I Know the Pilot is one such website. Basically, they are just filling the empty seats on flights at a fraction of the normal cost as the business model as it is better to have a bum on a seat than to let it go empty. I have seen flights to Bali return for less than $200. There are so many flights with different airlines to different places.

House sitting is another way to save money. Many people have pets (as I do) and when they go away, they want someone to look after their pets. Aussie House Sitters is a platform where you can stay for free at someone’s home. I use this when I go away and I want someone reliable to look after my cats. Win-Win! There are other platforms internationally that so the same thing.

If you are less mobile, cruising is the way to go. Everything you want is right there.

If you would like some help with making your life what you want it to be, whether travel is your thing or not, book in for a quick chat with me using my online calendar https://calendly.com/gcmitchell58/quick-chat

References:

Peacock, K. Ketvertis, K. ‘Menopause’. StatPearls Publishing USA, Jan 2019: Accessed 2^nd June 2019:

Northrup, C. ‘The Wisdom of Menopause’. Piatkus Books Ltd UK, 2009: Accessed 2^nd June 2019:

Freeman, E. ‘Depression in the Menopause Transition: risks in the changing hormone milieu as observed in the general population’. Women’s Midlife Health, 2015: Accessed 2^nd June 2019:

The post Congratulations! You Are Middle Age! What now? appeared first on Australian Menopause Centre.

One of the things we can do to make what we want more tangible is to create a vision board.

What is vision boarding?

‘Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve’ Napoleon Hill

Making a vision Board became popularised in the book ‘The Secret’ by Rhonda Byrne.

A vision board is simply a bunch of images, photos, words etc of the things that you want for your life. It is probably one of the most powerful visualisation tools available and it serves as blueprint for your future and is a tangible representation of where you are going. It represents your dreams, your goals and your ideal life.

Everything we do in life is based on our emotions. We tend to move towards pleasure and away from pain. Stimulating positive emotions using pleasurable images is a powerful way to get you moving in the direction of your dreams.

Your brain will work tirelessly to achieve the statements that you give your unconscious mind. And when you see what you want to achieve, your unconscious mind takes that as a direction to get to work!

How do I make a vision board?

It is quite simple really!

All you need to do is find pictures to represent the experiences, feelings and material things you want in your life in 7 years’ time.

You can pretty much choose any time frame, but I find that 7 years is a great place to start. We often underestimate what we can achieve in 7 years, so it is easier to achieve.

Also, you can choose to do a dream board depicting all areas of your life. These areas include health, relationships, finances, emotions, business/career and spirituality (whatever that means for you).

If you are making a vision board for a shorter time period, eg 1 year, you may want to concentrate on just one area of your life eg health.

Realistically, it is up to you. It is YOUR vision board.

If you choose images of happy couples (if you are wanting to find a soul mate) or of a strong lean body (if you want to work on your health and lose weight), ensure you have your face on it by doing a literal cut and paste of photographs and images. If that is not possible, choose images of silhouettes or ones with head turned away etc.  You want your unconscious mind to think that the person in the image is you…. not Brad and Angelina with their faces…. and this is probably not the best relationship to emulate anyway!

Include anything that speaks to you like symbols, inspiring quotes, words and thoughts of the things you want. Be sure to include a photo of yourself at least somewhere on the board. Make sure it is a happy photo of yourself! Ensure the words you use are positive and resonate with you.

You can cut all of these out of old magazines or find them on Google images or Pinterest and print them out. 

As much as possible, keep it neat and organised. If it is scrappy, chaotic and cluttered, your unconscious mind may pick up on that and chaos is not what you want (I am guessing)!

Another important thing is to put a date on it. If it is for 7 years’ time, include the year 2026 and ensure this is somewhere clear on the board. You want your unconscious mind to know that there is a deadline on this…..otherwise, it could always just be sometime in the future.

It is a good idea to look at your vision board every day. Meditate on it and let the images, words and quotes really imprint themselves on your mind. If you can, have the vision board where you can easily see it every day.

One very important thing to note is that the unconscious mind does not process negatives, so it is imperative that the directions you give your unconscious mind are for the things that you want and NOT the ones you don’t want.

I wrote a blog on focusing on the things that you do want and my skiing story is a metaphor (a true one) on why it is important to focus on what you do want rather than on what you don’t want. Check it out!

There are many other resources out there that can help you with vision boarding.

Hal Elrod talks about vision boarding in his book ‘The Miracle Morning’. In this book he dedicates a whole chapter to visualisation and says that a vision board is something tangible to focus on during the visualisation process.

Here is a video by Jack Canfield on ‘How to create a Vision Board’.

Here are some other tools on Pinterest that can help you too.

Now that you are on your way to making your own vision board, there is another step I suggest you do!

Write out your goal by stating ‘Today is (date 7 years from now) and I am ____ years old.’ Then describe your perfect day with all the things on your vision board in mind. Do it in present tense as of that day and use positive language.

You can look at how to set out your written goals by referring to a previous Australian Menopause Centre article I wrote. See it here.

Just one more thing….. If you want to have even more fun making a vision board, you can do it with your significant other and/or your children and grandchildren! Just go and have fun with it!

So, what are you waiting for? You now have this simple and effective tool to put you on track to having the life of your dreams.

If you would like some help with this, you can book into a no obligation complimentary clarity session with me. Just visit my website to book in on www.midlifecoachingforwomen.com.au

Or, you can book a quick chat directly into my online calendar https://calendly.com/gcmitchell58/quick-chat

References:

Hill, N. ‘Think and Grow Rich’. New York. Fawcett Books, 1987. Print:

Byrne, R. ‘The Secret’. New York. Atria Books. 2006. Print. Accessed 17^th April 2019:

Mitchell, G. ‘Focus on the Snow’. www.midlifecoachingforwomen.com.au, September 2018. Web. Accessed April 17^th 2019:

Elrod, H. ‘The Miracle Morning’. UK. Hal Elrod. January 2014. Kindle. Accessed 17^th April 2019:

Canfield, J. ‘How to create a Vision Board’. Video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iamZEW0x3dM, July 2017. Web. Accessed April 17^th 2019:

The post Visualise It! – How a Vision Board Can Help You at Midlife appeared first on Australian Menopause Centre.

Practising self-care is important for all people. It is the responsibility of each and every one of us to look after ourselves. In particular, its important for women to practise self-care as they age.

A Google definition of self-care is the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health. Another definition is any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. 

Typically, women will take care of everyone else before doing anything for themselves. Women are programmed that way with the help of hormones.

Humans have the longest developmental period (longest childhood) compared to other species. This is part of the reason for the human species being so successful, from an evolutionary perspective, on Earth.

As a consequence, humans now dominate the planet and all else in it.

This, and the way modern women are living have contributed to major stress issues in women.

Women are usually the primary care-givers of children and young people. And, women can spend up to a quarter of their lives, and even more if they have children years apart, rearing children.

Not only this, but women do most of the household chores as well as having full-time jobs and businesses. So, women are usually quite stressed just with coping with the everyday demands.

By the time women begin to experience peri-menopausal and menopausal symptoms, they are often burned out already and have only practised the most basic in self-care so as to keep up with the demands on their lives and families.

When menopause hits, many women are not used to giving themselves proper self-care but this is when it becomes essential.

With the more severe symptoms like insomnia and depression, women just simply can’t continue as they did. Something has to give!

At this stage, good self-care is a non-negotiable.

Self-care is not selfish. We need to look after ourselves first and then, and only then, give to others. It is like when you are in an aeroplane during the safety demonstration and the flight attendant tells you to put on your own oxygen mask first and only then, can you help others with theirs. It is common sense.

So, what does self-care look like?

Simply, it is having a balanced life.

Raphailia Michael, a psychologist wrote about the 3 golden rules:

1. What are some things that re-energise you? Stick to the basics first and find a couple of things what work for you.
2. It needs to be something you actively plan. Get committed to your plans by writing them into your calendar and announcing them to others.
3. Keep a conscious mind about what works for you. If you do not see it as self-care, it won’t work as such.

Here are some self-care tips:

Write out what resonates with you and schedule them into your routine. Also, if it does not look like self-care to you, ignore it and look at the rest of the list. You may also have some things you do that you consider to be self-care that are not on the list. That is fine. Go ahead and schedule these.

1. Get good quality sleep. Go to bed (as much as possible) at the same time each night.  Ensure the bedroom is dark and cool. Sleep in loose and comfortable clothing. If your partner snores, have somewhere you can retreat to if necessary, e.g. another bedroom.
2. Eat nutritious food, mostly alkaline food. This helps with energy levels, gut health and stress management. Avoid (as much as possible) processed food and sugar and limit caffeine, especially before bed.
3. Get regular exercise. This helps reduce stress levels. Find activities that you enjoy. It could be walking in the park, dancing in the lounge room or doing organised activities with others e.g. going to the gym, going to yoga classes or playing golf or tennis. Do something every day, even if it is just walking around the block. Get that body moving. It is designed to move!
4. Take time out for yourself. Take a bubble bath, get a massage, get a manicure and pedicure, meditate, read for pleasure.
5. Maintain friendships. Connect regularly with friends and family and do activities with them that give you joy. Eliminate or limit spending time with people you consider to be ‘energy suckers’. You know who they are.
6. Plan something to look forward to e.g. a trip, weekend away, date night or outing with friends.
7. Get a life coach. When our life changes, as it does as we age, we often want different things to what we wanted when we were younger. A life coach can help you define exactly what you want now and support you in getting it. Also, childhood wounds can surface when the hormonal veil is lifted at menopause and you then have the opportunity to heal with the help of a coach. You will be living the life you want as a consequence.
8. Be kind to yourself. Instead of the negative self-talk and self-flagellation, encourage yourself and speak to yourself in a positive way. Also, reward yourself when you accomplish challenging. This will increase your self-esteem and confidence.
9. Create a ‘NO’ list with the things you don’t like nor want to do. Then don’t do them, even if you feel obligated. Just say ‘no thanks’! Creating boundaries and communicating them with love and compassion can be very powerful and uplifting.
10. Get regular medical checks with your doctor/s and alternative health care practitioners.
11. Laugh …. Even if it is at yourself. Laughing produces endorphins (happy chemicals) in your body.
12. Outsource things you don’t want to do e.g. cleaning, ironing and administrivia. This will buy you time so you can do more self-care.
13. Getting the help you need for your peri-menopause and menopause symptoms. There are a myriad of treatments out there ranging from over-the-counter products to HRT. Alternative therapies like acupuncture can also help. Many women respond well to bio-identical hormones from the Australian Menopause Centre.

Your mindset is 90% of your success in your life. Just by improving your mindset, even if nothing else changes, your life can turn around very quickly. Having the mindset that you deserve, the self-care that you give yourself is 90% of the success feeling good.

If you would like support with your mindset and self-care, you can book a complimentary quick chat with me, you can book an appointment using my online calendar at https://calendly.com/gcmitchell58/quick-chat

You can also check out my website www.midlifecoachingforwomen.com.au

References:

Walter, C. ‘Why Are We the Last Apes Standing?’. Slate, January 29, 2013. Web. Accessed January 17, 2019:

Michael, R. ‘What Self-care Is – And What It Isn’t’. Psych Central, August 10, 2016. Web. Accessed January 17, 2019:

Leech, J. ‘The Alkaline Diet: An Evidence-Based Review’. Healthline, October 2, 2018. Web. Accessed January 17, 2019.

The post The Importance of Self-Care appeared first on Australian Menopause Centre.

Seemingly crazy symptoms like anxiety, headaches, feelings of hopelessness and sadness can be menopause related, but women tend to think of only the obvious symptoms like hot flushes and cessation of menstruation. So they then often think they are going crazy or that they want to divorce their husbands! There is still not much conversation out there about it, but thankfully this is changing.

Luckily today, there are many options out there that can help women with their physical symptoms ranging from over the counter natural remedies to hardcore HRT (now called MHT – menopause hormone therapy).

One of the best I have found is the bio-identical hormone therapy provided by the Menopause Centre. I love that it is customised for the patient and that they use the lowest amount of hormone necessary for a positive effect. I also love that the service is personalised and the doctors and assistants keep a firm eye on what the patients are taking and that they tweak the treatments when necessary.

This has certainly changed my life since I discovered the Menopause Centre more than 5 years ago.

As all these changes occur and there is upheaval in life, there is another dimension of life that needs to be addressed.

When women reach midlife, often what they wanted when they were younger is not what they want now. Children have grown up, careers change, relationships change and priorities change.

Up to this point, women usually put themselves last. Many not only work full-time jobs, but also take on the lion’s share of the child rearing and keeping the home running. The hormones, progesterone and oestrogen, keep us programmed to do this. It is an evolutionary thing. The human species would not have been so successful biologically if this were not the case.

When menopause hits and our biological job is done, it’s like the hormonal veil is lifted and women can see a bit more clearly! In fact, many women become angry and ask themselves ‘what the hell am I doing?’ or say ‘I don’t want to do this anymore’. Hence, the classic cliché – ‘The Mid-Life Crisis’.

Now, this is an opportune time for women to take the bull by the horns, make some positive changes and start to live the life THEY want in the next stage of their lives.

It’s about using the changes due to menopause as a springboard to getting what you want in life!

This is where Life Coaching comes in.

When people think of coaching, they think of sports people or actors. It is true that this is where coaching started. The results were and continue to be so impressive, that coaching is now also used for other areas of life.

Can you think of any professional elite athletes who don’t have a coach? No! Not one! In fact, Tiger Woods had 9 different coaches in his heyday.

Coaching (whatever type) gives people the edge, pushes them out of their comfort zone and highlights blind spots in performance.

What Life Coaching basically does is take someone from where they are now to where they want to be. Simple really! … however … it is not always easy.

Making changes can be difficult. It is one thing to say you want to make changes … but it is a very different thing to take actions around making those changes. Our unconscious limiting beliefs, conditioning and long-time habits often stifle us so that the changes are either very slow or don’t happen at all!

A Life Coach helps to make the change process quicker, easier, seamless, natural and much less traumatic. It’s about heading toward your goals, overcoming whatever is holding you back, then continuing on to your goals until you reach them.

The outcome is having the life of your dreams!

Think of it as having a personal trainer for your mindset.

So, if you think you would like to have an experience of what life coaching can do for you, I am offering a no obligation, complimentary session.

Go to www.midlifecoachingforwomen.com.au to book in the session.

Who is Gina Mitchell?

Gina is an accredited life coach who has been helping her clients reach their goals for over 7 years. Her niche is coaching midlife women due to her own challenges with midlife and menopause.

She wrote a #1 best-selling book about female midlife relationships called ‘Ignite the Spark’.

Gina has a background as a scientist and teacher. She taught secondary science full time for over 30 years.

Her passions include, her pet cats, advocating against animal cruelty and the environment.

The post Why Life Coaching is Beneficial During Menopause appeared first on Australian Menopause Centre.