Menopause will almost certainly heat up your life between the sheets – but probably not in the way that you’d like. Hot flushes and night sweats are some of the most commonly discussed symptoms of menopause, but how about painful intercourse, vaginal dryness and decreased libido? Unfortunately these symptoms are almost as common as the hot flushes and night sweats.
Bring the fun back to the bedroom with a healthy amount of lubricant, an adventurous attitude and realistic expectations (sorry, you are no longer in your 20s).
How to revive your sex life after menopause:
- Vaginal dryness and its close relative ‘vaginal pain’ can put you on one of the fastest routes to killing your sex life. It’s one thing for intercourse to be boring or tolerable, it’s another thing completely for it to be painful. Find a lube that works for you, or chat with your health practitioner about how to resolve your vaginal dryness or pain.
Talk about it.
- Being open and honest about how you feel now, and how you want to feel, can put you on track to getting there. Discussing things like desire, time, frequency, turn-ons, turn-offs, expectations and reality can really put you in tune with your partner again. Make time to reconnect.
- Hold hands, touch shoulders, buttocks pats, face caresses, hug, slow dance. Small touches throughout the day can add up and heat up. Oxytocin (often referred to as ‘the love hormone’) is released with a hug or pleasant touch. You may find that as you age your need for intimacy or love (over passion) increases.
Buy something racy.
- Be bold (again) and own your sexiness. Yes, your body may have changed but wear those changes with confidence. They say confidence is the new sexy, flaunt it.
Vary your sex life.
- Explore new positions, new locations and new methods. Whether it’s where you do it, when you do it, what you are wearing or what toys you use, it doesn’t matter – it’s the change that is important. Intercourse is meant to be fun and playful. If you get stuck for new things to try, ‘Google’ will help.
Take the initiative.
- Embrace your libido and feed it. Don’t wait for your partner to initiate intercourse. Life is too short for waiting for the perfect moment.